even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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