i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
