3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
