Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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