I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
