At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
