i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
