My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
