I accidentally had phone sex last night
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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