Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize