wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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