Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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