i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I cockslap morals
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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