I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
