I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Randomize
