Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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