and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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