I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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