I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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