he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
