Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My penis needs a shock collar
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
