Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
