He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We are all done wearing pants today
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
