I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
