is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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