The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
