dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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