there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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