someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Randomize
