Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize