Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
