Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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