Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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