her vagine was all disorganized.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
