That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
