I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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