She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize