the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
