Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
