eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
