Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
