I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
