I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
