I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
