great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
she peed on how many people?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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