My Higher Power is John Stamos
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Randomize