Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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