so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
no you cant smoke seaweed
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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