the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
