I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
