Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
