Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Come back. Shots need mouths.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
