dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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