The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
