First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
