Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
i think we sleep fucked last night...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
