I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
