perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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