U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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