Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
