i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
