Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
