What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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