Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
