Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
There's even glitter on my cock...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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