sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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