she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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