So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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