You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
