she was so not down for the gang bang
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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