There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
