I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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