We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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